What are funerals for?

   This morning I learned that my favourite uncle had died … last August. I only found out because I called the seniors’ home where he lived, just to chat for a few minutes. Stunned by the news, I immediately called his son who told me that it had been his wishes to keep it small – into a box and gone, with no fuss or fanfare.

   While I can understand that his preferences are paramount, I believe that funerals were designed for the people who are left behind. It’s our chance to reflect, remember, and grieve with other people who also knew the deceased. We can hear stories and share our own. It’s also an opportunity to express our condolences to the immediate family.

   As an only child, I was deeply touched by the people who cared enough to attend the funerals of both my parents. They had taken time out of their busy day to dress up and express their support.

   There weren’t enough seats to accommodate everyone at my mother’s funeral service. In theatre terms, it was standing room only. She died a month before she was due to retire from teaching. Her favourite position had been teacher librarian. Over the years, I have met a number of people who were so influenced by her that they, too, went into library work. Just this week, I e-met (through a mutual friend on Facebook) another woman who had had my mother as a teacher. She has been telling me what she remembered about my mother. It makes me feel good that my mother left such a legacy, and it helps, even almost thirty years later.

   At the moment, I’m overwhelmed by memories of my favourite uncle and am composing a letter to send to my cousins. Because I don’t have the opportunity to talk to others about Uncle Bill in person, I will post it here.

   I suppose these reflections are purely self-indulgent, but what is a blog, if not self-indulgent?

Novice Plumber

I don’t know what it is, but on sunny days I have this burning need to do chores around the house. Today was a gorgeously sunny day, a few degrees above zero (Celsius), and I was particularly busy.

First off, I should say that I have very little problem with philosophy or the theoretical side of physics. Plumbing, however, was completely beyond me until I moved to southern Ontario and had extremely hard water to deal with.

So, having been here for three and a half years, it shouldn’t surprise me that my showerhead jets were starting to clog up. So were the taps on the sinks in the bathroom and kitchen.

Mentally, I girded my loins and hauled out my Dad’s old adjustable spanner. The shower head came off quite easily, as did the nozzles on the taps. I filled up an old bowl with CLR and soaked them, then scraped, then soaked some more. It took the better part of the afternoon, but it was worth it to have done it myself. I know it’s not *real* plumbing, but it’s the level I’m at, and I’m proud that I did it.

Anyway, late this afternoon, I rinsed the pieces and put them back on, and they work – with no parts left over!

Procrastination

Struggling with the idea of filling out the legal financial forms for my separation yet again.

I just don't believe that my ex is going to do the paperwork this time, either. He keeps making demands that I jump through the hoops, but he is never forthcoming with his paperwork!

Y'know, I think what annoys me the most is that I have to pay over $60 every time I do it ... $30 plus tax for the documents to be notarised; pay to have them faxed to my lawyer; and then pay for the documents to be tracked in the mail or by courier.

Rev. Eugene (Jeep) Green is dead

I remember Rev. Green vividly from my high school days in Ottawa. He was the Anglican priest who led the ecumenical services, known as Prayers at my school, most mornings. We shared him with a boys' school a few blocks away.

His wife worked in the office at the school and his daughter was in junior school when I was a senior.

When I was in university, my friend's kid brother (who went to the boys' school) was grumbling about how no one ever showed up to cheer them on at their curling matches. My friend and I started going to them, and then it became a habit ... made all the more pleasant because Rev. Green was the coach. I asked him how he got the nickname Jeep. He told me that, when he was a kid, there was a cartoon called 'Eugene the Jeep'. His first name was Eugene, so he got tagged as Jeep.

Fast forward to middle age (mine) ... I was taking music composition lessons from a friend. She wouldn't accept any money for it, but I wasn't comfortable taking something for nothing. She was the organist and choir director for All Saints Westboro Anglican Church on Richmond Road, and mentioned that she could use another Second Soprano. So, I started going to that church and was delighted to discover that Rev. and Mrs. Green were living in the parish! It felt so good to see them each Sunday, as the choir processed and recessed.

When my father died in 2003, I turned to Rev. Green to perform the funeral service. I couldn't imagine asking anyone else, and I couldn't have asked for a kinder, more thoughtful person. Rev. Green may not have recalled my father from my high school days, but he didn't say so. It was a lovely service.

Jeep Green will be deeply missed and, given how many of my friends are asking for details about his funeral, I'm not the only one who will miss him.

Kim Dotcom

Well, it really was only a matter of time.

While I don't believe a whole lot of what the FBI spouts, I believe nothing at all that I read in the Toronto Sun. This means that I can read what passes for news in that tabloid ... and shake my head in disbelief.

Take, for example, the article from January 22 of this year. Apparently, the FBI were involved in apprehending Kim Schmitz, aka Kim Dotcom, in New Zealand, for his alleged ownership of Megaupload.com -- a site that was actively involved in selling pirated items.

The article claimed that this site had generated $175 million from subscriptions and advertising. It also quoted the FBI as saying that Schmitz had garnered $42 million personally in 2010.

First, the last time I checked, the Federal Bureau of Investigation was not allowed to operate outside the U.S.A., just like the Central Intelligence Agengy is not allowed to operate within the U.S. Agencies in the United States seem to be very jealous of their jurisdictions / territories. I just can't see the FBI operating in New Zealand. The CIA, maybe.

Second, I think these figures may be on the conservative side. $175 million? How many years has it been in operation? And Kim Dotcom / Schmitz received a quarter of that in one year alone? Something's funny here. Of course, that could be bad reporting.

Kim is being hailed as a hero of the little guy, a kind of modern day Robin Hood, if you will. But, given the size of the mansion he was living in (picture in paper, and my scanner not working) and the fleet of about 20 cars -- including, if we are to believe the report, a pink Cadillac and a Rolls Royce Phantom Coupe.

I would have a whole lot more respect for him if he had given the bulk of his money to charity. As it is, I think he's just as greedy as the big movie studios -- and no different.

Tests

I'm really not looking forward to these medical tests. This cyst is being a real pain in the back -- figuratively, not literally. Actually, if it hadn't been for the ultrasound, I wouldn't have known it was there at all.

I did it

Last year, I made a New Year's Resolution to get rid of one thing a day from my house. I did it, too.

Because I have my grandmother's stuff, plus my parents' stuff, plus my stuff -- all in my modest bungalow -- it has felt horribly crowded. So, this year, I decided to do the same resolution again. It's helping me be more vicious when it comes to turfing things that might come handy (mch).

I know it will be a while before I am actually in control of the mess, but I'm finally starting to feel better about things. It helps that a former co-worker's sister is going off to university next fall, and has nothing in the way of furnishings -- absolutely nothing.

I felt great getting rid of some of my mugs and tea towels this week. Have you ever realised just how long linen tea towels last? I gave her one that had been a calendar for 1985 because still it looked pretty good. The one from 1976 was a little too faded to give, I thought, even though the fabric was in excellent condition.

Today, I started cleaning out under the bathroom sink. I think I had nail polish and bags of make up in there from the seventies! The worst of it is, I didn't have time to sort that stuff before I moved in 2008, so I need to do it now.

Been busy

I can't believe that it's been a year and a half since I last posted. That's what I get for joining FB.

In summary, two years ago I took at course at UofT that nearly turned me off writing for life. The teacher was only into 'lit-er-a-ture' and laughed at my ideas while looking around at the other students and encouraging them to do the same. At the end of the class, I had a piece of c*&p that I wouldn't have read for two minutes -- but I had passed the course.

It took me almost a year to summon up the courage to enroll again -- which I did last fall. I handed in the work that the teacher two years ago had passed as 'acceptable' and was told, in no uncertain terms, that it would be better to have more action than memory. In the end, I reworked what I'd started with the year before -- based on what I learned in last year's courses -- and was told by two teachers that it was much better, far more readable.

So, it seems that my original ideas weren't so far off the mark as I was led to believe by that one teacher. Oh, and I went back to read some of the works by the teacher who dissed my aspirations (to write commercial novels for fun). My opinion of his work is best summed by John Spencer Hill, in a character's description of a book he was reading:

"There was something, it was clear, in the post-modern spirit that recoiled in horror from old-fashioned values like clarity and simplicity."

- Ghirlandaio's Daughter -

On my way ...

... for the first holiday I've had in almost ten years.

Had quite the telephone argument with an anonymous bureaucrat who insisted that I must know what hotel I would be staying at. He refused to accept that, because I'll be arriving at 10 in the morning, I will be driving until I decide to stop for the day; wherever that may be.

Have fun, people, and don't wait up for me!

Bucket List Item

I used to call it the "Things I want to do before I die list", then I saw the movie. Now I call mine a bucket list, too.

If I can get the time off work, I'm going to take advantage of some seat sales and fly to Miami in the last week of January and come back the first week of February. While there, I'll rent a car and drive through the Keys, along the causeway.

Hey, it's warmer than England right now!

Maybe Italy next year ...

I've been writing

So, I haven't written here for a while, but I learned huge amounts from the course I was in this fall -- Writing the Novel: An Introduction.

The prologue for my historical novel (set in 1582) has been cut from seven pages down to one and a bit. The first chapter has been tightened up considerably, as well. Altogether the two sections dropped from 31 pages to 20 -- and it's much better now.

The last assignment was actually the hardest. We had to do a five minute report on one of the books on a list -- and the only ones on it that I'd heard of, I'd had to read in high school. Apparently, several other people in the class weren't too thrilled with the list, either.

The teacher finally gave us the opportunity to select any book we wanted. I chose Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett. I went through it and studied how he handled some of the problems I was facing in my work, like vocabulary that would be known in the period (or, in his case, place) but might be unfamiliar to the average reader.

Learned a lot from Pratchett ... now the hard part: to implement what I've learned.